Kathleen O'Brien | NJ Advance Media
Flickr/Tim Green
Love is in the air
Two-thirds of Americans believe in the concept of a "soulmate," a person out there who is destined to be with them, according to a new Valentine's Day poll out of Monmouth University Polling Institute. Fully 35 percent believe that notion a great deal, while another 31 percent believe it somewhat. Among the naysayers, 14 percent don't give much credence to the idea, while 17 percent don't believe it at all.
Shutterstock/zimmytws
Heartbreak Hotel
The paradox is that people who are deeply invested in the notion of a romantic soulmate are actually more likely to break up, said Gary Lewandowski, professor of psychology and one of the designers of the poll. That's because such couples aren't very resilient when they hit a rough patch. They tend to think being with a 'soulmate' should be easy, so when it isn't, they are plunged into doubt. "They start to think, 'Hey, this isn't my soulmate. Now I have to go searching for that true soulmate who's still out there somewhere,'" he said.
You're the one that I love
Americans on the whole are fairly happy in their relationships. Seven out of every ten American adults are currently in relationships, and of those, the vast majority (88 percent) call themselves satisfied or extremely satisfied. One little dark cloud in this happy picture: As they years roll along, satisfaction gradually erodes a bit. Older men in particular have backed off their previously high level of extreme satisfaction, the Monmouth poll revealed.
Love and marriage, love and marriage
The poll turned up an interesting wrinkle in the romantic beliefs of people of different political views. Republicans were more likely to describe themselves as extremely satisfied in their current relationship. They were also more likely to describe their partner as their best friend. Lewandowski said he thinks that's a function of the value Republicans place on marriage. That bedrock belief in the institution gives them more motivation to view their own relationships in a positive light, he said. He cites this stat: Four out of five states with the highest rates of marriage went Republican in the last election.
You are the sunshine of my life
"Here the respondents got it right," Lewandowski said. "Being more similar helps minimize conflict. If both of use like going to be beach, neither of us need to sacrifice."
(Alan Richards)
The way you do the things you do
Americans also like to marry up when it comes to IQ, with 51 percent saying the ideal spouse would be smarter than the. Another 26 percent want a spouse that is "slightly smarter. By contrast, only 3 percent want to marry someone slightly less smart or a lot less smart. But why would a quarter of respondents want to spend their married lives feeling stupid compared to their spouse? Lewandowski had a quick answer: "You might feel stupid, but you might also have more financial resources." Men valued a smart spouse even more than women, it turns out.
Ad Choices